The word divorce is never far from our consciousness. There are the celebrity divorces that constantly loop in the news cycle, and marriage counselors all over social media offering tips and tricks to maintain a healthy marriage and avoid divorce. Now, more than ever, we also have divorce memoirs, a subset of which, written by women prioritizing happiness over staying in bad marriages, are hitting best-seller lists.

When I was going through my own divorce, I was desperate to read real-life stories of women like me who were leaving their marriages to find their own version of happiness, control, and empowerment. I read all the self-help books, I vented to my therapist and friends, and I journaled all my fears and anxieties about what life on the other side of divorce would look like for me. Yet somehow, I was unable to find memoirs I could relate to, memoirs I could see myself in, memoirs that offered a sense of hope that I would not simply survive divorce, but thrive. It wasn’t until I started writing my military divorce memoir, Camouflage, that I stumbled upon the books I was once searching for. Their backdrops and circumstances vary, but each book includes universal truths, emotions that mirror my experiences, provide a sense of community, and validate all the reasons I chose to walk away from my marriage.

The following reading list includes books I wish I’d had access to throughout my divorce process. These authors tell deeply personal stories in gorgeous prose, and in some cases, turn to research and interviews in order to connect their own experiences to broader cultural issues. They all offer hope for women that divorce isn’t a life-altering ending, but a beginning, a path to a new life, a chance at reinvention and endless possibilities. For these women, life after divorce is empowering.

You Could Make This Place Beautiful by Maggie Smith

In her memoir, You Could Make This Place Beautiful, Smith uses her skills as a poet to pen lyrical vignettes describing how her marriage ended in divorce and she was thrust into the role of a single mother to her two young children. Her story starts with a pinecone her husband brings home from a business trip, which leads to the heartbreaking discovery that he’s keeping secrets. Smith uses an unconventional structure, sometimes addressing the reader directly, to reevaluate red flags throughout her marriage, such as her husband’s resentment toward her professional success, and ultimately arrives at a fresh, cathartic perspective. Infused with commentary on gender roles, family, and work, You Could Make This Place Beautiful isn’t simply a divorce memoir, but a relatable and hard-fought journey about coping with unexpected life events and rediscovering ourselves.

The Leaving Season by Kelly McMasters

After moving with her artist husband from New York City to rural Pennsylvania, having children, and opening a bookstore, McMasters discovers that her life isn’t as picturesque as it seems and decides to end her marriage and start over in the suburbs. In this memoir in essays that uses setting as a character, McMasters writes introspectively about her crumbling marriage, her divorce, parenthood, ambition, and identity as she nears middle age. As its title suggests, McMasters highlights a variety of types of leaving: leaving a marriage, leaving a home, leaving a location, leaving a job, leaving people. Filled with reflection on what home means and hope for the possibility of endings transforming into beginnings, The Leaving Season nurtures the idea that renewal and rebuilding a new life for ourselves is possible.

This American Ex-Wife by Lyz Lenz

One look at the cover of Lyz Lenz’ This American Ex-Wife leaves little doubt about her tone: a wedding dress in flames. After Lenz reaches a breaking point, she decides to end her twelve-year marriage. As she escapes her unhappiness and embraces her new life on her own, she realizes there are advantages to getting divorced. This fierce memoir details the lead up to Lenz’ divorce, while flipping the script on the common narrative that divorce is synonymous with failure. Instead, Lenz makes a case for the power of divorce, the taking back of women’s control and equality as they put their own happiness first. Hers isn’t just a memoir, it’s a manifesto that incorporates research, statistics, and interviews, a cultural critique of the institution of American heterosexual marriage that urges readers to understand that divorce “requires learning to reimagine happiness beyond what everyone told you it should look like.”

Splinters by Leslie Jamison

In her debut memoir, Jamison writes with wisdom and graceful prose about the end of her marriage, her life as a single mother to a toddler, her career ambitions, and dating in the aftermath of divorce. As she faces this new stage in her life and focuses on her intense love for her young daughter, she also examines her parents, motherhood, and the complicated nature of romantic relationships. Jamison explores these and other themes, including finding joy after loss, the struggle of starting over, and grappling with a sense of self when that self seems to be splintered off in too many directions. As she so eloquently writes, “If you ever feel like you’re in the wrong story, leave.”

We Are Too Many by Hannah Pittard

No relationship or friendship is perfect. Sometimes love runs its course. Sometimes we outgrow people. In Hannah Pittard’s case, everything happens all at once. This genre-bending memoir cleverly combines fact and fiction as Pittard tells the story of her discovery that her husband is having an affair with her best friend, which results in the end of her marriage and her long friendship with a woman she trusted. With humor and candor, Pittard shares real exchanges and fills in the blanks of her knowledge with speculation as she analyzes what went wrong. We Are Too Many pulls readers into a fast-paced, time-jumping narrative about the demise of a marriage, betrayal, broken trust, and starting over while coping with heartbreak. The fact that this memoir is told through dialogue creates the illusion that we’re part of the conversations, experiencing the emotions right alongside the author. But even as it shows how complicated relationships and female friendships can be, this book also reminds us that it’s possible to find humor in dark times.

This Story Will Change by Elizabeth Crane

This Story Will Change tells the story of Crane’s marriage and its end with humor, wisdom, and a unique stream of consciousness style that blends short vignettes and a third-person point of view. When Crane’s husband of fifteen years unexpectedly confesses that he’s unhappy in their marriage, she suddenly finds herself in couples counseling and living in an apartment with a friend, searching for answers amidst confusion and deep-diving into what went wrong in order to heal. Crane’s nonlinear method of storytelling mimics the nonlinear nature of breakups and the disorienting, discordant, often confusing blend of messy emotions associated with divorce and heartache. The title itself is the ultimate chef’s kiss, because as anyone who has gone through a divorce knows, the story, the lessons learned, the takeaways, and the big feelings will all change with the passage of time.

Clam Down by Anelise Chen

After her divorce, Anelise Chen’s mother makes a texting typo, telling her to “clam down.” As a result of this unintentionally humorous advice, Chen transforms herself into a “clam.” What follows is an investigation through introspection and research into what it means to withdraw, hide, remain silent, and protect ourselves. Chen uses experimental and various points of view, including different types of clams and interviews with her immigrant father who disappeared earlier in her life, to create a memoir that reads like fiction while also giving readers the sense that maybe the author felt safer telling her story in someone else’s voice. Incorporating threads of art, history, literature, and science, Clam Down brings novelistic breadth to discussions of family dynamics and forgiveness, adaptation and survival, transformation and connectedness, and learning from the past.

Blow Your House Down by Gina Frangello

Blow Your House Down is an unapologetically honest personal story threaded through with cultural criticism. Despite appearing to have the perfect family, Gina Frangello’s realization that she’s unhappy in her marriage pushes her to a secret life—a passionate extramarital affair. As the affair destroys her marriage and leads to divorce, Frangello also finds herself grieving the death of her best friend, struggling with chronic illness, caring for elderly parents, and parenting three children of her own. Frangello doesn’t hold anything back as she details her path to living an authentic life that’s paved with the exploration of female sexuality and rage. The resultant memoir dives into feminism, love, motherhood, pain, self-discovery, and what it means to be good.

Heartbreak: A Personal and Scientific Journey by Florence Williams

When her long marriage abruptly ends, Florence Williams employs her skills as a journalist to search for the scientific meaning behind heartbreak, grief, and loneliness. The result is a hybrid memoir that brings together personal introspection, social commentary, and science journalism. It all starts when Williams lands herself in the hospital with unexplained weight loss, lack of sleep, and ultimately a Type 1 diabetes diagnosis. She then goes on a quest to understand and heal the physical effects of divorce. Her methods are wide ranging and unorthodox. There’s bloodwork to find genetic markers of grief, meditation, spending time in the wilderness, and psychedelic drug therapies. At its core, Heartbreak reminds us that grief and trauma affects our body in more ways than we may think.