The Let Them Theory: A Life-Changing Tool That Millions of People Can’t Stop Talking About <— For some reason I’m a total audiobook listener when it comes to self help, autobiographies and motivational books (I need to HEAR it, over reading it), and this one was a pleasure to listen to every morning when I woke up and got ready for work.

I have a bad habit of overthinking, of reconsidering, of second guessing, of going over conversations or things I said and wondering if I hurt feelings, offended someone, sounded stupid, or too aggressive, or rude etc etc etc… OR… of going over things someone said to me. Wondering if someone doesn’t like me, or why, what I did or could have done to make things different, or if they did but now they don’t ’cause of how or who I am or what I said or didn’t say. Ahhhhhh it’s just too much sometimes. All the time, in fact. I hate that feeling, I hate getting into one of those loops, and ruining my creativity, my productivity, my peace and happiness all because of what I’m worried someone else is thinking.

Guys… that’s a lot of work, and the older I get, the more I realize, that while YES… that is me to the core (I don’t know if it’s because how I was raised or because it’s my own true personality and disposition) but it’s who I am. That said, along with that need to please and to “be liked” comes a constant sense of dread and worry. The more people that were in my life, the more stressed and concerned I was about screwing up. There was always that one person, that one time, that one thing. There seemed to always be something I was second-guessing. Never feeling free because I was so busy worrying about what someone else preferred. It’s so internally isolating. And it seemed as if isolating myself was a way I could avoid all that.

Well, this audiobook pretty much says… Don’t. Don’t think about it. Don’t worry about it. Don’t stress over it. Don’t second guess it. You aren’t going to be everyone’s cup of tea, and sometimes things happen without you, but not BECAUSE of you, and well… let them.

They don’t like you? Let them like who they want…

You’re not invited? Let them do their thing…

Someone’s mad at you? Let them be upset… (wait wait wait… there is personal accountability in this , of course, but that comes with the whole audiobook narration – you learn so much and Mel teaches by her own personal examples – and so many of them, I could relate to, and would cringe with her – she is wide open).

You’ve set boundaries someone doesn’t like? Let them sulk… but do it over there. Keep that boundary firm. 😂

Someone isn’t doing what you think they should be doing? Let them do what they want to do… (again, within reason… there’s accountability here as well.)

Okay wait… again… of course there’s plenty of accountability on both sides, here. It’s not a message of “be an ass and who cares what anyone thinks.” Or let someone destroy themselves with nobody there to help them.

It’s more of a… be who you are unapologetically/sincerely, and don’t overthink what happens in the midst of who you are. IF needed, get the help you need if/how/when you need it, and let everyone else be who they are as well. It takes all kinds of people to make the world go round, and we are not all going to match each other’s connection needs.

For me, that’s what I got out of this. Don’t chase love. Don’t change who you are to please everyone… or anyone. Don’t set yourself on fire to keep someone warm, ya know? Don’t hurt yourself in the process of someone hurting you. Let it go. Or let them go. Let them.

Not everyone is for everyone and those that love you do so BECAUSE of who you are. Your sensibilities. Your character. Your personality. Your thoughts, your beliefs, your actions. Your heart. WHO YOU ARE. And that’s all we need to be.

Let them… and let me.

5 STARS!!! <— Thank you Mel! I loved your message. It makes sense, it’s real, it’s comforting, it’s a relief. Such a relief. And it’s one I will listen to over and over again to remind myself.

P.S. No amazing quotes from the book (that’s why I struggle with audiobooks for review time… I can’t post my favorite parts) but alas… I hope you get the gist of it. 😉

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