Welcome back to Cover Snark!
From Jen: Does his raised arm look too big in proportion or is it just me? And what is going on between his pecs? Is that an arrow intention? I just don’t understand some of those ridges.
Sarah: His obliques are smiling at me. No thank you.
Elyse: That is some fucked up forced perspective
Sarah: MY ARMPIT LET ME SHOW YOU IT.
Shana: Are we sure his arm isn’t glued on to his body?
From Elizabeth: Rather than a “protected angel,” his butt has a bullseye (and it looks like he is really sticking it out). Just weird and random.
Sarah: Does he think “pop” refers to his backside, and “lock” refers to his giant giant weapon? Is that a responsible way to carry a firearm?
And why is he so SHINY
Amanda: has the trigger been photoshopped out?
Sarah: Wait, HAS IT???
Amanda: I zoomed in and saw nothing there
I wonder if he wasn’t practicing trigger safety since his finger looks bent and they just removed the trigger entirely
Sarah: You don’t want a protected angel with a malfunctioning trigger finger.
Amanda: He’s also doing the classic America’s Next Top Model booty tooch.
From Pam: I’ve only ever seen a man carry a woman like this during a dance or skating routine and only momentarily. I don’t think they had ice dancing in the Regency. . . or mini skirts and Rothys. At any rate, he appears pretty smug about his prowess. Also, is that a window into another.
Sarah: Not only are the white tights giving me a good chortle, but why are they both so very, very Filter-smooth?
Amanda: The comfort of Rothy’s transcends time and space.
Shana: I wish we could see her expression because I bet it said, “Put. Me. Down.”
Sarah: It sort of looks like they’re on a couch, but there’s not enough back to that settee for her derriere.
Every day I write about romance, I type more and more incredible sentences.
Also from Pam: The Zoomie Vilebook: wherein two faceless beige people stare past each other into the mustard colored distance.
Sarah: What the fuck does that say.
Can I say again how much I hate this style of font. I can’t read it and it makes no sense to me visually.
Kiki: I am very distracted by the W in the author’s name that is very clearly an M.
Two back-to-school Macy’s mannequins
Sarah: The facelessness is so unsettling.
Maya: Also, two spiderwebs?? Two??? On the same arm??
Why does she need sunglasses if she has no eyes?
Sarah: …why does she need sunglasses if she has no eyes?
Also: all those detailed tattoos and even shoelaces ON TOP OF HIS PANTS?!
It’s fixed on the digital cover but paperback covers have the weird shoelaces.
But they can’t have any facial features?
Claudia: the zoomie zulebook!
Finally a book that explains the reasons for cat zoomies, using mannequins as posts.
Sarah: In the interest of science! I surveyed the whole family. Top guess was “Voomy Vulebook”