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Cover Snark: Does Jane Austen Know About This?


Welcome back to Cover Snark!

Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen. A new illustrated cover. The background is bubblegum pink with Austen's name over and over again in rows. Flowers with green leaves and purple petals line the edges. A woman in a pink turtleneck and pink pattern skirt is facing a man with her hands on his shoulders. She has white, chin length hair with the top layer pulled up into two space buns. The man has on a purple vest and a teal checkered long sleeved shirt. He has dark, shoulder length hair.

Sarah: The whole set of new covers is killing me.

There are forwards by Tessa Bailey, Ali Hazelwood and Alexis Hall and others.

Elyse: I don’t remember a court jester in those books

Maya: In every iteration, the checkerboard pattern shirt makes no sense to me

Elyse: Also are people going to pick up those books expecting the characters not to be white?

Sarah: I didn’t know Emma was a poly romance

it looks like a rather smoking hot triad from the cover. Is this a revised edition?

Amanda: Okay a couple questions. They say that there are forewords by prominent YA authors. Half of them aren’t. Like Alexis Hall and Tessa Bailey.

Sarah: yet another example of ‘clearly I am not the audience’

Amanda: Also the covers make them seem like contemporary retellings but I don’t think they are?

Sarah: Very contemporary. How far is the distance between the vibe of the cover illustration and the actual text of the book? Miles? Nautical miles? Light years?

Amanda: Nothing in the jacket copy could tell me either way.

Keeper by Hope Ford. A man in jeans is looking down at his crotch. He has a red zipper hoodie on that is zipped open. His chest has a set of wings by the sternum and pecs. His belly button has a biohazard symbol.

Carrie: He looks like he’s cold but can’t figure out how his zipper works

Sarah: Shirts! Shirts are a great choice!

Kiki: Wash your belly-button, bud.

That tattoo is reminding me of a radioactive symbol.

Sarah: I think it is?

No, it’s not I’m wrong.

Kiki: I thought it was too, so I have to assume his belly button has got some stuff going on.

Amanda: It’s a biohazard sign which I think might be worse.

Kiki: That’s it! Yeah, that’s absolutely worse.

Sarah: You don’t want your belly button to be a biohazard.

I remember when mine nearly turned inside out while I was pregnant. I looked like a torpedo, all out in front. But I wasn’t a biohazard. I was cute.

Maid for Each Other by Lynn Painter. A lilac background and an illustrated cover. The hero is on the left looking at the heroine. he is in a suit and has his hand behind his head. The heroine is on the right and positioned a little farther down. She has long red hair with a white clip pinning the side back. She has on a baby pink dress and black converse shoes. A red bucket is at her feet and she's trying to hide a mop behind her back.

Amanda: That looks like a child.

Sarah: oh gosh, yeah…it does.

Lara: Major ick.

Sarah: I wonder why that is. The height difference, for sure, but also the hair and the long nightgown looking dress?

Kiki: I think all of that, combined with her hiding the mop behind her back, is really giving it a “I hope dad doesn’t find out!” vibe.

Sarah: It’s really interesting that we’re agreeing but there are so many little things leading us to that impression

Amanda: I also think there’s a teen movie where the main character wear’s converse to prom, but I’m blanking.

Sarah: Also that the illustrated dress looks too big for her, like she’s wearing an adult’s clothing and she’s small.

Rescued by Bears by Skye Mackinnon. A headless shirtless man with two bears beside him. One bear is on all fours and the other bear is on his back legs, standing behind the other bear. Everything has a blue hue laid over it. The man has lots of droplets (maybe sweat?) on his abs.

From Melodie: Today’s bears seem to be smirking? The one on all fours seems to be outright laughing. Do they know something about the cover model that we don’t?

Sarah: Those bears are not rescuing him. They’re mocking him.

“Aw, look who went out into the frigid national parks with no fur and no clothes!”

Amanda: Is he interrupting the bears having sex?

Sarah: If so they don’t seem too mad about it.

 



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